Have you ever noticed that when push come to shove, you get backed into a corner, you act out immaturely? That’s the 6-year old I am rereferring too.
The one that says; F*@# You, don’t tell me what to do.
Last night I didn’t realize this, until of course, after I got angry and told my Fiancé to stop treating me like a child. When in fact, it was me who was acting like one.
You do this too, and so does your neighbor, and the CEO of Apple and even your grandmother.
It is a natural reactionary defense mechanism. It usually occurs early in your childhood and you carry it forward like a hidden plague.
Sigmund Freud analyzed and elaborated on them in his works on ego defenses.
I am not going to bore you with all the defense mechanisms that he had written about, however, you should know that you weren’t born with it.
You and I are raised into this world with natural bodily abilities. Our brain then begins to construct a reality through our perception of things.
When you fail, you revert to the very first time you failed and how you felt. Naturally, this habit is meant to protect you.
It runs your entire life, and you don’t even know it.
Every day someone says something to you and it triggers this emotional need to act. Even suppression and not acting is acting out.
Your brain signals war is about to erupt, so you gather up the troops inside that little brain and march to the front of the hill to declare war.
You yell, scream, justify and reason because guess what, your always right. There is only one right truth and that truth is your truth.
How could the other person not see this?
Are they blind?
Maybe if you yelled a little louder, or talked a bit faster they would see where you are coming from.
“Power is so characteristically calm, that calmness in itself has the aspect of strength.” Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
You turn the simplicity of the present moment, into something so complex, bringing the past and its illusory mimicry to fight a fight that is better fought through composure.
Let’s look at how simple a dog’s behavior is.
A dog’s reaction is to what is in the present. The dog is not thinking about consequences, neither is the dog thinking about regrets or excuses. The dog does what it does and it doesn’t do what it doesn’t do.
You see, your actions always have a motive. You want to make sure that no know can outsmart you, or make you look bad.
Now, what may seem as such a basic instinct to act like a 6-year old, becomes a complex response that links to past outcomes in the unconscious mind.
Dog’s behavior is simple, and what I just realized is how the simple can be so powerful.
Being powerful is being right there, in the present moment. Having that be a moment of choice.
Choosing to hear what is being said without putting a distasteful judgment on what is being said.
Clarity in the now drives decision-based actions that lead to a prevailing future.
How do I know this?
Besides the fact that I took a grueling 7-day course to learn about this, I had to discover it for myself.
It is powerful when something is right there, and you can identify what it is, you then have the power to choose; continue to act like a 6-year old or like the present you.
You and I have choices, I know you don’t believe that you do and that you “have to” do what you chose to do. Let me tell you, distinguishing from a “have to” to a “choose too” frees up your mental space on how to act.
Reading this will not help you discover it for yourself, only in action will this become clear for you.
Will I react like a 6-year old in the future, it’s quite possible. I am not saying this will stop, but talking about it and being aware of it, I will be able to recognize and subdue this act, like a ninja whose had his two swords taken and must move quickly to evade his enemy.
“People in this world look at things mistakenly, and think what they do not understand must be the void, this is not the true void. It is bewilderment.” The book of five rings by Miyamoto Musashi
The void is nothingness. Nothingness is what everything is. Everything is nothing.
Simplify; You make meaning of things that arise to nothingness, that is how you should look at the void.
The judgment you gave to someone else is not coming from the other person, it is coming from you because you feel that what you think is the only true way of which it must be.
Sorry to break it to you, it is not. You are neither right or wrong.
Next time a person is nagging at you, consider the possibility they are doing it out of love and compassion and listen from nothingness. Only then will you hear and test this possibility.
Thank you for reading this post.
To be continued….
Image copyright by vagabondish